With the New Year a few days behind us, I’ve been thinking a lot about my life with particular interest in my personal spiritual walk. Like I said in an earlier post, I’m not usually big on resolutions, but this year has proven different. I’ve set a few goals for me to work on, and they’re not only for this year, but for the rest of my life. First and foremost, I want to become the woman God created me to be. This is a big, big, big task. I believe God put me on this earth for a purpose, and by not creating daily alone time with Him I am not living up to that purpose and only experiencing a fraction of the blessings, peace and joy He wants to give me. If my daily spiritual walk is not aligned with His path for me, I am not acting, thinking or being the woman He wants me to be. I have more to offer, but I need to work at it.
An area in my life I have been challenged to work on is my marriage. More specifically, my role as a wife. I’ve known since I was a little girl that I wanted to be married, and that I would love being a wife. I romanticized what a marriage would look like (think 1950’s/June Cleaver-esque) and just knew I’d thrive within my much-anticipated role. However, here I am, and my life looks nothing like I’d imagined it would. The image I had in my head was fake and unrealistic, my life now is very real. I do try to be a “good wife” but more often than not I am just me. I prefer my cozy lounge-pants over jeans and seize every opportunity to get that stinkin’ underwired contraption off my chest. I only wear make-up if I’m going out, and I pretty much consider the “messy bun” my signature look. I don’t make dinner daily, in fact, Mr. G does most of our cooking, and my kitchen is often messy (it’s tiny so it doesn’t take much). I’m still working on the laundry, and I’ll do cartwheels the day every piece of clothing is washed, folded and put away. I may not be the wife I thought I’d be, but one thing is for certain: I LOVE my husband. I know our relationship is a gift from God and I am so thankful for it.
I’ve come to understand recently that though I may not ever be the wife I thought I’d be, I absolutely can be the wife and woman God wants me to be – and I’d rather be that!
One of my favorite things to do is to surf thenest.com and through that I’ve developed the hobby of blogging. I love to peruse different blogs from women across the country. I get recipies and decorating ideas from them and sometimes even encouragement. One blog in particular, hersoutherncharm is very encouraging. The Southern Housewife has loads of wisdom and encouragement on the role of a wife, and I’ve enjoyed reading her posts. Through her site I found “A Wife’s Biblical Submission” an online bible study going through the description of a woman/wife in Proverbs 31. I’ve read through the site and have decided to start my year by becomming a biblically submitted woman. I want to be a woman after God’s own heart, and I believe this study will help me to strengthen my marraige, my sense of worth as a woman, and my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I am looking forward to the challenges and growth this will provide, and I am ready for them all. I am ready to begin becomming the woman God designed me to be.
Now, for the women of the study, I will give a brief introduction of myself: My name is Stephanie am almost 24 and have been married for a year in a half. My husband Ben and I were married May 27, 2007 on a riverboat the day after my graduation from Nursing School. I am currently a Nurse at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland, OR and Ben is a full-time student studying Industrial Design at the Art Institute of Portland. We do not have children yet, and are planning to wait a few more years until we add some to our family (I’m thinking 3 years, he thinks 5…we’ll see!). I am starting this study to become a better wife to my husband, and a better daughter to my Father. I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and instinctively look to my husband to fill the voids and fears in my life, and I know I will never find fulfillment and peace without looking to God first and foremost. I hope to grow in faith, wisdom and peace on this journey, and I also hope to bless my husband in the process.
I will close with my study verses for the week:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties, and see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight O Lord my strength and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
– Mrs. G