Hi, my name is Stephanie and I really want to have a baby.
Did you know that? Ha!
I think within a few minutes of knowing me (or reading my blog) you’d easily see my desire to be a mommy. I’ve always wanted to, and if I’d be a mom was never the question, it was when. In a plan that was different from my own, but perfect for me, God gave me a man whose desire to have a children was not nearly as strong as mine. Ben is practical and responsible about having children, and his realistic view on our bearing offspring has been healthy to my “they’re so cute and cuddly and squishy and they smell so good, let’s have four now!” view.
When we got married we decided five years was a good time to wait before trying to get pregnant. We figured we’d have life figured out by then. Our money would be plentiful (ha!) and our saving strong. We’d own a home and our marriage would be rock solid, then we’d be “ready” for babies. Well, here we are, four and a half years later, knocking on the door of our timeline, and wouldn’t you know it, life has kicked in and we have accomplished any of these goals! Well, that’s not exactly true, our marriage is pretty stinkin’ strong. Yes, we still fight about stupid things and we sometimes struggle with communication, but we’re HUMAN and that will probably never change. We’re still in love, in fact, we’re more in love – in real love – than we were when we became man and wife.
Ok, so I’ve gotten off track a little bit, I wanted to write this post because on Thursday our life transitioned from a season of waiting to a season of preparation. I had my IUD removed. Sometime in the next year, (Lord willing) we will get pregnant. My body will house our unborn baby. Wow! Seriously, typing that just gave me goosebumps. By a season of preparation I mean, I need to prepare my body for such a feat. There is a huge responsibility to give my baby, my body and my life the best chance at success by getting ready for such a big thing.
It’s a scary thing to start looking into our bodies are exposed to. So many things we put on and into our bodies are chemically altered and not at all natural. We unknowingly poison our bodies with products that have been regulated as safe. Sure, that specific piece of food won’t kill me, but a lifetime of additives and byproducts may! We’ve embarked on a change in our diet this past week, and no, it’s not necessarily the gluten-free thing that will help make me healthy, it’s consciously choosing products that are as close to their natural, organic form as possible. We were not made to eat chemicals and toxins!
The simple fact is, I want by body to be strong and healthy.
I want to go into our pregnancy knowing I have done everything I can to make my body as safe and healthy for our unborn baby. I want to have confidence in my strength. I want to know I didn’t go into this amazingly huge thing half-assed and unprepared. I don’t want to have to worry about pregnancy weight onto of my starting weight. I want to be proud of the body I had before having a baby, and then proud of the body I have when I am pregnant, and then even after.
This is not just about weight. To be honest, I care little about the numbers on the scale (obviously, I think most chubby people don’t really care, or they’d do something about it!). I care about what my body can do. I want to be able to run up stairs without being winded. I want to see an add for a particularly bad-for-you-food and not feel like I need one right now. I want to crave veggies and fruit, not hamburgers! I want to eat when I’m hungry, and say no when I’m not. I want to feel stifled and yucky if I don’t work out. I’d love to look hot in a pair of designer jeans, but more than that I want to be healthy, as evidenced by my actions.
So, here I am, a few days in, and I am excited. I have never entered a “diet” so strong, but maybe because this isn’t a diet, it’s truly a lifestyle change. I am changing my life. We are changing our lives.
And, I’ll do my best to document it all here!