I Love Daddy

I’m pregnant.

I’m pregnant.

Oh my gosh, I’m pregnant.

Those words floated around my head as I tried to go back to sleep. Ha! As if you can sleep after something like that! My work called at 5:00 and called me in, so I quickly got ready for my day, knowing that in a few hours I had to tell my husband. Oh my word.

The day before my good friend Jess had asked if I had any suspicions of being pregnant (because I had told her Ben and I may have been accidentally a little risky with dates this month), so just as I was leaving for work I sent her this picture

 and said “We definitely have to meet for coffee today!”

During the early morning hours I had made a plan to tell Ben. That plan included an additional test and a onesie of some sort. I tried to go to Target and Fred Meyer before work, but both were closed, so I grabbed a half-calf Americano (under 200 mg of caffeine) from Starbucks and headed to work. Work was crazy – not to mention I was tired and overwhelmed with the constant thought: “I’m pregnant, OHMYGOSHIMPREGNANT!!” I was asked to stay over multiple times (even guilted a little bit), but I was firm, I had plans this evening and I had to leave at 3:00.

When I was finally able to leave work, I headed straight to Target. I wanted some kind of shirt that said “I Love Daddy” but their selection was severely lacking. I grabbed a pack of pregnancy tests and left, thinking I’d just give him one of them by itself. However, as if by fate, the freeway was gridlocked, so I decided to go the back way home, right by a Fred Meyer. I decided to stop and I was lucky to find an adorable little selection of Carters sleepers – all 50% off. I grabbed a girlie little set and a rocker little boy set and headed out the door.

Once I got home, where Ben was lying on the couch (he had been sick all week and had spent many hours miserable on the couch) so I brought my bag upstairs, took a digital test, which popped up “Pregnant” within a minute or two, then I proceeded to wrap the jammies and both of my tests in the only suitable gift wrap I could quickly find – a little Victoria’s Secret bag.

I was really nervous now. I didn’t know how Ben would react. I knew that he would be an amazing dad, and that he would love our children no matter what, but we were not planning on getting pregnant yet. We had a few important things we had to check off before taking this step. I was afraid he’d think I tricked him or something, that I had messed with my charting or told him it was safe when it was not (we were “safe” when we had unprotected sex, except that I ovulated 4 days early…now, 18 days later, here we are).

I went downstairs, sat next to Ben and told him we needed to talk about something serious. He was a little confused, and I tried to say something, but my words started to catch in my throat, so I just gave him the bag. “I got you something, and it’s not from Victoria’s Secret”. He started to unwrap the pink paper and say the little letters and said “What is this?” as he eyes got wide, “I’m so nervous to tell you” I cried. “Why? What is this?” he said again as I started to cry. “I’m pregnant.” He then grabbed me and pulled me close to him. “What!?” he kept repeating and I apologized. “Don’t be mad, it was an accident” but he hugged me closer and after a moment, said “I’m not mad, I’m happy.” When he let go, he had tears rolling down his face and a sweet look of peace on his face. “This isn’t the time we had planned” he said “but we’ve been praying every day for God to show us our path and to open doors, so I know this is what we’re supposed to do and that everything’s going to be OK.” which was what I had planned to tell him at the beginning of the conversation, but I started blubbering instead. We hugged and laughed and looked at each other and at the tests and sat together utterly shocked.

I really was nervous he’d be mad, so nervous that I couldn’t even picture him reacting the way he did. He is joyful about the prospect of this baby! He’s nervous to get too excited so early, and has said he’ll feel like this is more real after an ultrasound, but he’s happy. He’s scared – we have a lot of things to get settled in the next 9 months, but he’s excited.

I asked him to pray for our family, and, with a few new tears in his eyes, he did. He beautifully asked God to bless our child and thanked Him for this unexpected gift.

Then, silently, I thanked God for the same, but added extra prayers of thankfulness for the sweet man He gave me.

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