It’s nearly 5:30 in the morning and I am downstairs on the couch, with my baby on my chest (my baby who just drifted back to sleep after a two hour middle-of-the-night-party). The fire is flickering and I have worship music softly playing in the background because even though my eyes have yet to close tonight, I am so filled with thankfulness.
I have always wanted the honor of having a tiny little someone keep me up all night.
I still struggle to believe that this beautiful baby is mine. Mine. Forever, for keeps. I get to be a mom! But not just a mom…Lydia’s mom. Oh my gosh! Words can’t even express!
I don’t want to ever forget this season. These past twenty days have been amazing. I have never felt such love, such thankfulness, such abundant blessings. I feel as though my heart hardly fits in my chest, it’s so full. Cliche maybe, but absolutely true. I wish I could bottle every little moment. The perfectly kissable roundness of Lydia’s cheeks. Or the newly-formed dimples on the top of her hands. I want to savor the sweet, perfect newborn smell, even when it’s occasionally tainted by the sweet-stink of sour milk drool.
Please mind, never forget the little details. The way she nurses, gulping ferociously to keep up. The way her eyes look up to me more and more – I can see her start to see more. Amazing. Please savor these precious minutes, and lock away the way her lips purse and her hands frame her face after a feeding, as if she is pondering something very important. The hair on her ears, her crooked pinkies. I want to always remember every dainty thing.
I never want to forget the way her tiny body feels against my chest. The way she sinks into me and relaxes completely. She trusts me, completely. She needs me, absolutely. I can’t even begin to express my thankfulness for such a gift. These past days have fulfilled my soul so overwhelmingly. I have a whole new purpose, a purpose I have been waiting for all my life. I am this sweet, perfect, beautiful baby’s mom…oh my word…my heart is so full!
Thank you Jesus for bringing me this most perfect gift, in Your most perfect time. I am undeserving of such beauty…thank you, thank you, thank you.