Being a Mama

I knew from as far back as I remember that I was supposed to be a mama. I knew it with every bit of my being but I didn’t know when. So much of my early blogging is me lamenting about how I was trying to cope with the fact that that time wasn’t “the time” and trying to make peace with it. I waxed and waned with my level of “ok” about whatever season I was in, but really, I was just biding time for this season.

This sweet season of caring for my daughter, of being a new mother.

I still pinch myself – I have a daughter.  Me. This precious baby is mine.

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I never doubted that I would be a mother. I always knew I would be. I had no clue about the rest of my life, but in this fact I was confident. I believe God made for this very purpose: to love this child (and any that come after) with every ounce of my being.

Thinking of the enormity of being a parent is too much right now. Thinking of Lydia growing up and giving me sass and driving a car and going to college is too big. I don’t know what the rest of time will look like, or how Ben and I are going to navigate the every-changing waters of raising a child, but I do know that right now the most beautiful, important, and pressing issue is to love this girl. Kiss her cheeks, inhale her sweet breath and embrace her with as much love as I can every moment of every day.

To simply be a mama.

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Happy Mother’s Day, indeed.

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